Failed Relationships
by PimpedOutGreenEars
Summary: Kyle leaves Ike with Craig so he can help Stan with a few things. Meanwhile Ike reminds Craig of who he used to be, and about his past relationships. Past CraigxThomas, CraigxClyde, and CraigxTweek. CraigxKyle. *CraigxIke.*


**Failed Relationships**

**Authors Note: Holy crap. Holy freaking crap; I'm writing SP stuff again! I never thought this day would come! I haven't posted anything SP related since June of LAST year. Just wow. Anyway this is just a oneshot (that in my opinion needs more work. To bad I'm to excited to do anything but post it.) that I decided to do to get me back into SP writing. Any way, please reveiw and let me know what you think!**

Craig was standing in his living room in front of the DVD player when he heard someone knock on the door. He sighed and placed his DVD on top of the DVD player before going to answer the door.

When he opened the door he saw non other than his Jewish boyfriend, Kyle, and his little brother, Ike.

"Hey, what's going on?" Craig asked smiling.

"Hey Craig, can you watch Ike?" Kyle asked.

At this Craig raised an eyebrow. "Since when do 8th graders need a babysitter?"

"Since he got grounded. I'm supposed to watch him, but Stan called and needs some help with stuff, so I was wondering if you'd watch him? I mean since he and Christine will probably hang out the whole time."

"My sister's at Kenny's playing with Kylie, why don't you take him there?"

"Can't you do it? Please Craig."

"…Sure."

"Thanks!" Kyle said before quickly going to his car and driving away.

Ike walked into the house and Craig shut the door. He was about to go get his car keys before Ike spoke up.

"Wow, I can't believe he didn't even hug you."

"Must have been in a hurry."

Ike chuckled, "He probably is."

Craig raised an eyebrow at him before continuing on his way to get his keys.

"I don't understand why you're with him."

Craig gave him a look that said to go on.

"It's obvious that this relationship is going to end just like your others."

"What do you mean just like my others?"

"I think you know what I mean." Ike said sitting down on the couch.

Craig sighed before sitting down next to him. He then took a bottle of pills out of his pocket and prepared to take one.

"Ya know, I think those pills might be part of your problem." Ike said coolly.

Craig put the pill back in the bottle and waited for Ike to speak again.

"They fix the Tourette's, right? They fix your little finger twitch; no more Mr. Mackey for you. But what about the side effects? Remember when you were a temperamental bad ass? The pills made you super calm, bored, unexciting; but hey, no more flipping people off, right?"

"What's your point?"

"Let's look back on your breakup with Thomas."

"You don't know anything about it."

"Of course I do, I was there, remember? Christine had friends over, we were watching you guys. I remember it clear as day…"

**(Flashback)**

_Craig and Thomas were sitting on the couch, they had just finished watching a movie and Craig was leaning in to kiss him._

_Thomas moved his head away from Craig._

_"What's wrong?" Craig asked before taking a pill from his pocket and swallowing it._

_"I need to talk to you." Thomas said before taking a pill of his own._

_"Okay, what about?"_

_"I got a call from my dad the other day…"_

_"What'd he say?"_

_"He said he was glad that the drugs were working… And that he wants me to stay with him next week."_

_"That's awesome Thomas; you haven't seen him since Christmas."_

_"Yeah I know," he said smiling "He also said if things work out I can move in with him."_

_"He lives in North Park, right? That's not to far away."_

_Thomas frowned. "Craig, things with my dad are finally working out… And I can't let anything mess that up."_

_"Umm, okay."_

_"What I mean is… My dad doesn't know I'm gay."_

_"Oh."_

_"I can't tell him, I can't risk loosing him again."_

_"You can't be with me anymore."_

_"No. I'm sorry. Please tell me you understand." Thomas said looking into Craig's eyes._

_"Yeah, I understand." Craig said in a dejected voice._

_"Don't worry, I'll call you and give you my number."_

_"Okay." Craig said before hugging Thomas and watching him walk out the door._

**(End Flashback)**

"Do you remember what you told him?"

"That I understood."

"But did you?"

"No. His dad was an ass who abandoned him because he was different. Why would he want to live with him?"

"I remember you crying when the door closed. It was so unlike the Craig I was used to seeing. I kept waiting for you to yell at him, to scream. Even when he left I was waiting for you to throw something, but it never came. …Did he ever call you?"

"No."

"Did you ever call his mom and ask for the number?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to screw things up for him."

"You mean like he screwed things up for you?"

"…"

"What about your breakup with Clyde?"

"You were there for that too?"

"It was just me and Christine that day; she was in the bathroom getting ready for bed so I was watching you."

**(Flashback)**

_Craig and Clyde were on the couch making out. Neither had a shirt on and Clyde was reaching for Craig's zipper._

_"I think I love you." Craig whispered into his ear._

_At that Clyde stopped and sat up._

_"What's wrong?" Craig asked._

_"Dude, we need to talk about some shit."_

_"I'm listening."_

_"Dude, look, things with you went a lot farther than I expected them too."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Dude, I wanted a hook-up and now you're talking about love and shit and- look it's just- dude, I don't want anything serious right now. I just wanna have fun, ya know."_

_"Yeah."_

_"I mean, I love you man, but I'm not, like, in love with you. I still wanna hang out and stuff, just, I think it's best if we don't hang out like this anymore."_

_"…I understand."_

_"…You gonna be okay?"_

_"Yeah, of course." Craig said as he took a pill out of his pocket and swallowed it._

_"Good, cause I kinda wanna beat your ass at Halo 3." Clyde said pointing to Craig's X-box 360._

_"Sure." Craig said setting up the game._

**(End Flashback)**

"After that I went and hung out with Christine, but I came back just in time to see Clyde leave; just in time to see a tear fall. You sat there and tortured yourself with him."

"I know."

"Just tell me which hurt the must: the fact that he led you on, let you think you had a relationship with him when he only saw you as a hook-up; or the fact that after he did it he had the audacity to ask you to play video games?"

Craig stayed silent.

"Which one Craig?"

"Neither. It was that he KNEW I wanted a serious relationship with him. It was that he knew what I wanted and lied to me so he could get laid. He was supposed to be my fucking friend." Craig said glaring and flipping off the coffee table.

"He was an ass to you, and you let it happen."

"I know." Craig said glaring at Ike.

"But I think the breakup that hurt you most was with Tweek."

"There was no way you were here for that."

"It was back when I was dating your sister. I had snuck in to see her, but she was asleep. I was going to wake her up, but then I heard you… It'll never stop cease to amaze me how I was always more interested in what you were doing than what she was…. I saw everything…"

**(Flashback)**

_Craig and Tweek were sitting on the floor studying for a test when Tweek started to freak out._

_"GAH! There's-nngh- to much to learn! I can't learn this much, man! It's too much pressure!"_

_Craig chuckled before putting his arm around Tweek and smiling. "You'll get it, no worries babe."_

_"No I won't-gah! It's one t-third of my grade! Nngh! If I fail the test I'll fail the class; then I won't get into college and I'll have to be a GAH prostitute!" Tweek said shaking._

_"Tweek, you won't fail. And besides, I'd never let you become a prostitute." Craig said as he bent down to kiss Tweek's neck._

_"AHHH! Stop! Gah! Jesus Christ C-Craig I can't t-take it anymore!" Tweek said squirming away from Craig._

_"Huh? Tweek what's wrong?"_

_"This test and you; it's too much pressure! Nngh!" Tweek said pulling out his own hair._

_"Me?"_

_"GAH! I'm not-nngh-gay Craig!"_

_"What?"_

_"Nngh! I'm not g-gay!"_

_"But-"_

_"GAH! I d-didn't know what to do! When you-nngh-came onto me! I was gah scared!"_

_"Tweek there's-"_

_"Are you m-mad? Oh God now you're going to hate me, and hit me, and then leave me in some-nngh- gutter to drown in my own blood!" Tweek shrieked._

_"No I'm not."_

_"You're n-not?"_

_"No. Tweek I'd never do that to you. Even if you don't like me that way, you're still my best friend. I wouldn't do that."_

_"Y-you promise? You aren't gonna change your mind later?"_

_"I promise."_

_"And you still wanna be my-nngh-best friend?"_

_"Of course Tweekers."_

_"O-okay."_

_"It's getting late, you wanna ride home?"_

_"No I'll GAH walk." Tweek said packing up his things before leaving the house._

**(End Flashback)**

"The second he was out the door you fell to the ground crying. I've never seen someone in that much pain. …I never thought you could be in that much pain. You were never a crier back when we were younger; you were strong. And then I saw you break down. …Did you even want to scream?"

"No." Craig said glaring at the ground.

"What about now?"

"I want to yell until my lungs collapse. He didn't trust me enough to tell me he wasn't gay, he thought I would hit him and betray him. All I ever did was love and protect him. The only time I've ever hurt him was third grade; third fucking grade." Craig's voice was getting louder and angrier with every sentence.

"I did all I could for him and he couldn't tell me the truth? One time he couldn't tell me the truth? And it was dark outside when he left; he's terrified of the dark. He didn't trust me enough to drive him home. And yet on Monday he came to me freaking out? Freaking out about fucking Cartman and his stupid test and-AGGG!" Craig finally couldn't take it anymore and stood up, taking the coffee table with him and knocking it over. He then grabbed a vase from the side-table and threw it against the wall.

"He didn't trust me! Clyde used me for sex, and Thomas picked an asshole over someone who actually cared about him!" At this point Craig was throwing anything he could grab.

"FUCK, BITCH, SHIT, COCK SUCKING MOTHER FUCKER!" Craig screamed as loud as he could as he could before he finally stopped throwing things and stood panting in front of Ike.

"Are you still sad about loosing them?" Ike asked.

"Sad? Ha. Fuck them. Craig Tucker doesn't need anyone." Craig said smiling and evening out his breath.

Ike looked into Craig's eyes and saw what one usually wouldn't expect after such an out burst; dry eyes. Craig's eyes weren't glassy like someone who wanted to cry.

Ike smirked. "Welcome back Craig."

Craig just smirked. "So, I was gonna watch Transformers before you got here."

"Sounds good." Ike said sitting on the couch in Craig's newly messed up living room, where Craig soon joined him, putting an arm around his waist and pulling him closer.

A knock on the door was heard.

Craig got up off the couch and walked to the door. When he answered it he saw Kyle for the second time that day.

"Hey, where's Ike?"

"I'm right here." Ike said coming to the door.

"Good. Stan's in the car, he has ice cream for you. You might want to get it before it melts." Kyle said pushing Ike toward the car.

"Wow a babysitter and ice cream! Now if only I really was five!" Ike said before turning to give Craig a look.

Craig smirked at him. As soon as Ike was in the car Kyle stepped into Craig's house shutting the door behind him

"Craig, we need to talk."

"Damn right we do."

"Umm, are you off your meds?"

"No, of course not." Craig said sarcastically as he flipped him off.

"Dude, I really hope you didn't act like this around my brother."

"Not exactly." Craig said smirking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kyle said glaring.

"Don't worry; it was nothing like your night with Stan."

"How-"

"I'm not stupid Kyle; no one needs help at eight o'clock at night."

"Look I'm-"

"Don't tell me you're fucking sorry. Don't bullshit with me. The whole time you were with me you wanted to be with him! You fucking used me because I was the closest thing to Stan you could get! God, like looking like him isn't bad enough without getting it used against me!"

"Craig, that's not-"

"Don't even say it isn't true! You know God damn well it is! You used me because you were too big of a coward to tell douchebag outside how you really felt! You're an asswipe! A dirty low down Jew who doesn't deserve to have anyone! But don't worry because I bet your brother kisses a lot better than you do, and I plan on making sure!"

"He's fucking 12 you can't-"

"And I'm not 18 for two more months! You want to rat me out like the dick face you are? Then do it, but I guarantee you, your bitch of a mom will find out about your precious little Stanley!"

"You'd tell her I was gay?" Kyle asked.

"In a fucking heartbeat."

"You're an asshole Craig."

"And you're the cheating, lying, bitch face, mother fucking, kike that'd better get the fuck out of my house." Craig said calmly opening the door for Kyle, who glared before walking out the door.

Craig then walked over to his phone and dialed a number he still knew by heart. After a few moments a women picked up.

"Hello?"

"Miss Clark?"

"Craig? Is that you?! I haven't heard from you since Thomas left! How is he? He really doesn't call often enough."

"Last I talked to him he was good. I was actually wondering if I could get the number to his dad's house."

"Of course. What happened? Did you loose it? I'm surprised you didn't memorize it."

"I guess I just misplaced it."

"Well, I'm sure you won't this time. Are you ready?"

Craig smirked as he grabbed a pen and some paper. "Definitely."

* * *

**For anyone who doesn't get the ending, Craig is going to call/see Thomas, Clyde, and Tweek and yell at them.**

**Also there is no cure for Tourette's, and no meds that I know of. Craig and Thomas were on experimental pills. That's how I explain Craig going from that kid who flips everyone off to that kid who is calm and boring. **


End file.
